I still work to ease the sickness with either homemade lemonade or even crackers.  I try to eat when I can but I don't always have a taste for anything. I think my stress levels have something to do with it too.  With different things going on right now and having an infant to care for is making my stress go through the roof. If I work toward being calm more often maybe that will help...lol yeah right.

The company I work for has decided to move the department to its main headquarters.  I understand they have to what is best for their business and I respect that yet this is a lot to take in. When you live in Ohio and they want to take your job out of state - thats a problem.  If we were moving within the state it may not have been as hard. I have till the first week in January to submit my final decision and no that's not much time since we were told of this around Thanksgiving. The whole transition process with the company should be completed by late spring.

Moving is like starting over again - especially to another state.  I would have to find a new school for my son, daycare for my daughter if her father can't find a job with the same hours as he has now. A new doctor, pediatrician, dentist, and even a whole new budget! This could be a good opportunity but it will be stressful for the whole family. On the other hand if I don't go I'll have to seek another job and the job market hasn't been to great in my area since the unemployment rate is close to 10 percent in some surrounding counties. I will see a severance pay but I am worried that I may not have employment by the time it runs out. My health benefits are good but the cost will skyrocket if I decide not to keep my job.

I've had my job for over 6 yrs and its been okay.  I have other things I want to do but wonder is this really the time to get into it and take a risk?  I've been know to have an entrepreneurial spirit and have ideas for different things and even done projects on the side while working during the day. It would be nice to ba able to get deeper into those side projects but you have to have patience and discipline. Again this can be a great opportunity to get my home business off the ground.

Its a lot to think about and my head is hurting - literally.  One decision leads to another and either way I go its going to be a pain in the neck.

There is nothing like

being a mother because

her time is priceless.

Since she's been teething I haven't gotten as much rest as normal.  She's been waking up a couple times throughout the night which is making me restless.  Not only am I tired from lack of sleep but my body is trying to keep up with her demands of milk.  I have been pretty close to quitting and closing up the milk machine (its gotten that frustrating) and having monthly visits from "aunt flo."  I wasn't one of the lucky ones with a delayed start of menstruating - I got mine back at 8 wks post-partum. 

Miss Piggy and her monster brother seem to get along fine.  Gabi is pretty fiesty and likes to have things go her way - but there's a problem with that... so does big brother Willie. He wants things his way too.  People have been warning me about when they get older - how they will argue and get on my nerves.  Somedays I can see that and others not necessarily. 

There age difference may have something to do with it.  I'm not to happy on the age gap even though some say it will benefit me sooner than later.  I'm still in shock over the fact that I have kids at all.  I'm not putting myself down when I say this but I never saw myself as the mothering type (lol).  My boyfriend is a great father to his children and has always said that he wanted kids - in which it shows. 

I completely understand why my mother only wanted one child but some say you're not really a parent unless you have more than one.  Basically I got in trouble for everything since I could blame anyone else. The bottom line: I got my work cut out for me...for a long time

Writing is easy

when you write about what your

feelings are inside.

I plan to have a few pictures of them in the collage but have words and illistrations describing their personalities.  They'll get a kck out of seeing these when they are older.  I actually have a collage I did for myself which I'll be adding more stuff to it and getting it laminated along with the others.

I loved doing collages when I was in school and continued doing them after high school.  I think this would be a good way to reduce stress and spend time with my rugrats. Some people may think they are time consuming but it depends on the size and content. Once I get started it doesn't take me too long to finish (may a few days at the most).

In the future I'll post some pics but in the mean time I got lots of letters, words, and pictures to cut.  (Happy cutting to me!)

I can't lie and say I'm happy about not knowing anything about him - I'm furious that he's never been around to help my mother or try to contact me.  If your dead that's the only exception I'll take.  If you've been living your life everyday knowing you have a seed that is your flesh n blood out there somewhere like its none of your business having no regards then I have every right to be upset. 

I have plenty of questions to ask but with so much time that has gone by most may not be worth answering. I can't help but wonder if another family is out there - siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins. If I never learn anything else about my father or find him then it wasn't meant for me to know and that's okay.  Maybe I'll find out something I wished I didn't learn but for now I'll just keep wondering.

A very special mother to me who has given me support when I needed it most.

Who encouraged me to do my best in everything I do.

I know I don't say this very often for what you have done for me and what you have given me, but I wanted to say thank you and I love you very much.

From the bottom of my heart.

I appreciate everything you have done for me.

You have not only given me life but many opportunities to do so much.

I know we have had our mishaps in the past and have had hard times together that I will never forget.

To my beautiful mother Nancy A. Herrin, Thank you.

Words can't express my feelings for you; from your daughter, Tanisha L. Herrin

Last Halloween my son and his father helped me pass out treat bags and this wasn't easy in the beginning. At the time he was 4 and I was pregnant my daughter.  It was hard looking at so much candy while pregnant because I had morning sickness all the time yet on the other hand my son thought he was in heaven. We gave out over 75 lbs of candy and I didn't want to see anymore for a long time. My son was happy in the end not just because he got a treat bag for his efforts (lol) but because he knew he was doing it for "Grandma Nancy."

This year we have a new set of little hands to help out (well she'll just look at people strange and look cute in her pink leopard costume) from baby Gabi now 7 months. I know my mother would have not been happy to learn of me having a second since she wasn't happy the first time around. She loved her grandson like he was her own and would have loved her granddaughter just as much. 

In a week it will be 4 years since my mom passed away and since I'm an only child who has recently started looking for my "unknown" father sharing my mother's memory has become a full time job. I started the foundation to keep my mother's memory close, to remember her best qualities and carry on what we would have done together.  When she passed away I was afraid that I may forget things about her.  I miss being able to see and talk to her everyday and how happy she was spoiling her grandson. 

Her grandchildren will learn about her most likely through her charity. My mother volunteered in the community at a young age and I look at her award certificates as inspiration. I enjoyed vounteering when I was going up at various events and other organizations in the community.  My little ones have gotten an early start on volunteering thanks to their grandma. 

One of the most important things the kids will learn about their grandmother was how caring she was and had so much love to give.  As they get older they'll learn that this charity to them is much more than just giving. 

You try and do what you can to stay healthy and you still end up getting sick. I know my immune system isn't what is was before I got pregnant with baby #2.  It's annoying and frustrating to be tired and dealing with a cold when you have so much to get done on a daily basis. I haven't gotten much accomplished which makes me fall behind quick.  I've been cautious on what to take because of breastfeeding.  I have been drinking more water, orange juice, and constantly blowing my nose.  My appetite is still intact and I'm thankful for that. I've been eating more veggies and snacking healthier (when I'm not eating cookies or halloween candy - lol).

In my area the H1N1 virus has been spreading pretty quickly and that's alarming. You feel sick and that's the first thing that comes to mind is do you have it?  My symptoms are more of a cold than a flu.  I'm thankful I haven't had to miss any work either - my symptoms haven't been that bad but I can't wait for them to go away!

At this time last year I was pregnant with my daughter and planning a Halloween event for my mother's charity.  This year we will probably do the event again and since my son volunteered last year he'll have no problem this year.  We gave out over 100 candy bags to kids in our area and once Halloween was over I didn't want to see any more candy for a long time - I still don't want to see it now (lol).  This was over 70 lbs of candy and since I had plenty of morning sickness all day when I was pregnant this was the last thing I wanted to look at.  My daughter is almost 7 months now and I still have nausea from time to time.

I said "probably" on the event because I've been working on maybe doing some changes because of people getting sick from the flu outbreak.  Our event was outdoors and though it attracted a lot of families I have doubts on the weather conditions and how people will participate this year. 

I'm trying to look at the positives on this: it can be fun for the whole family, Halloween falls on a weekend, and I have seen some good sales on costumes.  And how can you leave out the candy and games.  Its just getting the motivation to do it.  I have been under the weather and somewhat depressed. I know what needs to be done but once you get started there's more to do than you thought in the beginning.

I feel bad for not having a family photo do sooner since we've gotten our new addition.  I've been either too tired or too busy.  I have tons of pictures on my ditgial camera but it's good to have a clean professional photo.  Gabi is 6 months now and this year has flown by so fast. I was pregnant earlier this year and she'll be crawling literally tomorrow - she scoots everytime she has a chance. 

Just looking at the pictures I took of my son and daughter from a few weeks ago they don't even look the same in person today.  It really hits you hard when you look at pictures from when you were little and compare them to your kids.  You look the same or you look like you're not related (lol).

Either way it's going to be fun to show off the pictures of the kids when they get older - I get to pass on the humilation that my mother did to me (lol). 

I recently finished an article that took me a week to write and I wasn't happy that it took me that long to finish it.  I wanted to complete it in less time and since I didn' t reach my goal I wasn't happy.  I think my article came out good but timing was an issue. When you have a full plate time is always an issue-not enough in a day and you just do what you're able to do.

Once I can get rid of the frustration and focus on what needs to be done this helps me schedule time in the future.  I'm looking forward to completing my seventh book and completing other writing assignments.  It seems like every week I have to work harder to get things done but a good end result is worth the effort.

One of my main concerns is keeping ths house clean and disinfected.  Sometimes you don't realize how much stuff comes in and out of the house on daily basis.  We clean the house regularly but it just seems like you get paranoid with children especially babies in trying to keep things clean.

For the most part some of the things I do to prepare I do throughout the year like washing hands (with soap and have hand sanitizer when I can't get to a sink), drinking water to keep hydrated, staying away from sick people (that's a hard one when people come around you and they know they should be at home away from others), taking vitamins, and keeping the house clean.  I'm working on the eating healthy part by eating more fruits and veggies while trying to make heathier meals.  I've heard humidifers are helpful this time of year but I have never used one - I may look into that.  I have been taking vitamins and the kids are taking theirs as well.

Reducing stress and trying to get more sleep well these options are a different story. Maybe they will get better when the time changes around Halloween.  I'm looking forward to that extra hour (lol).  I've never gotten the flu shot and honestly I'm scared too only because I think its going to make me sick. I just need to stock up on some medicines and tissues.  They say you shouldn't touch you face because of open pores like in your eyes, nose, and mouth were you could transfer germs but its hard throughout the day to remember that rule.

I'll probably get sick again and I hope it doesn't last long or get too bad.  Just thinking about the cold/flu season is depressing. I'm ready for the summer again...

I get my boyfriend to cook fish about once a week but I know we need to be eating more healthy.  I miss being able to cook as often as I used to and eventually I get back to that.  When I had more time to cook I would experiment and try new foods.  Now with a picky 5 year old eater eating healthy is somewhat of an issue. It's weird- my son won't eat chicken or hamburgers but he loves bacon! (LOL) He'll eat several strips of bacon like it's nothing.  He likes chili and spagetti w/meat sauce but won't eat a hamburger. 

A home cooked meal is the best comfort food I think.  I'm looking to at least do the one pot meals more often like spagetti, stir fry, and chicken noodle soup.  I'll make chicken noodle soup and my son will eat the noodle and the broth but not the chicken. It's almost like having a mini vegetarian around. I think I get more energy from a home cooked meal too - especially if it was so good you got full from it and you go to sleep.  Leftovers are good as long as there is something left.

The last several weeks I've gotten lazt by either warming up stuff in the microwave or just cooking up something quick sausage or a can of chili.  Nothing wrong that - just its not as satisfying as good meal.  I'll have to do some research on quick meals - I know a ton of them are out there and since I have been able to save a few bucks on cutting back on take out, fast food, and ordering food like pizza I should be able to get some good meal ideas or at least get healthier snacks like more fruit.  Okay - I'm going to stop now since I'm getting hungry